Unlike the pilot in The Little Prince, I was deeply encouraged at the age of 5 to pursue art by the grown-ups in my life. I would sit at the table with my watercolor pencils and create while time stood still. I had the right kind of grown-ups in my life. My art was always met with warm welcome and encouragement. My grown-ups had the excellent balance of praising me both for my art but also making me feel that I am loved no matter what I pursue. I was loved for simply being me. That was a powerful environment to be raised in. I was so, so lucky. Truthfully, I do not remember much of what I learned in elementary school. Well, except for the layers in the jungle canopy which still excites me to think about. But I vividly remember all of the art projects I created at home. I created my own “computers” out of paper that could actually fold open and close like a laptop. I designed different computer screens you could slide into the side to feel like you were visiting real websites. I made paper flower crowns that looked like dandelions being tied together. I made mailboxes and heartfelt letters to go inside for every door in the house. I painted on seashells and the grown-ups said “Wow! How amazing!” I learned that more than being praised for my artistic ability, I loved using my art to show my loved ones how much I loved ones. I enjoyed crafting thoughtful cards for their birthdays, making visible tokens of my deep love for them.

-college art show quota not proud of anything I made all just for quota. Who did I even make any of that for? What was the point? Burnout and inhospitable environment to creativity at large. It did not influence my creativity in ANY positive way. I do not claim that experience. Nope.
-getting married, losing my mom and art show all in the span of 3 months = major, major burnout. Renouncing art altogether. Lots of anger and isolation for a long time. Separated from wonderful, soul-giving friends by long distance. I carried their love and my mom’s love with me in times of deepest loneliness.
-Where “Goose” comes from and Milo’s own light. To say he is working in my shadow would be deeply unfair and egregious. How his light shone so bright it inspired me and brought me out of my creative slumber.
-How Junie inspires me with body movement.
-Where “Dovey” comes from. Pup & Nicknames. How he shows his love in different ways. How I’ve sometimes wondered if he would ever get mad enough at me to say mean things about my art and that it is all meaningless, absurd to pursue and pointless in the face of looming bills. I think how it easy it could be for him to do that. But he never does. He never even comes close to it. And I rest easy in his love.
-A few years ago I made a decision to actually pursue my art and believe in myself. I had been living in extreme anxiety and lots of grief. I felt surrounded in my mom’s love and belief in me when I decided to pursue my art again. I started out slowly. I felt discouraged quite often. It took me years to actually learn how to listen to myself. It was a slow unfolding.
-How no one ever has discouraged me in my art. Even people who don’t understand me still fully believe i’m an artist. I am always amazed by that because what evidence have I even given them? Yet they still believe it. My only battles have been internal. I’ve been pushed to believe further and further in myself than I ever thought possible.
-My art journey went from timidly trying to make products that would “Sell” to finally making what I actually want to make without thinking of the money.
-I felt my whole heart swell up and soar when I thought about creating animations. Not just any animations, I knew they had to be hand-painted animations. That is what felt right to me. It felt like walking into home again, even though I had never been there before.
-Even though I had never animated before something inside of me said an automatic and resounding YES! Yes, I can do that! Yes, I absolutely will. I had no proof of this, yet I felt it so strongly I couldn’t look away.
-Feeling a deep need to carve my own path.
-Animation: to have my true voice for the first time. My actual artistic voice. To share my feelings and my thoughts and how I actually see things. To have that translated. The invisible made visible. To have others feels deeply understood through my work would mean everything. I love the feeling of being understood. I want others to feel the same. It is so lonely to feel misunderstood.
-I moved in silence and full surrender with my animation process. It felt like being pregnant. How everything began to fall into place in my life when I trusted my animation process and listened to myself. A return to 5 year old me creating in full flow, creating what I actually wanted to.
-I want to be seen, but in a really humble way that lets everyone shine, too. I want you to be seen, too, through my work.


Pictures:
-Milo working at the table, side by side to me working at the table as a kid. Two different points of light.
-Me posing for “In Juuuune” next to the animation still of that moment in Summer June.
-Definitely some puppy love photos.
-Mom & childhood and early motherhood probably.
-My early animation process shots. The first time I painted the Summer June faces felt like seeing your baby’s face for the first time.